Why did the chicken cross the road?


    Why did the chicken cross the road?
 
 

Att00057

 
 DR. PHIL:
 The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems.
 
 
 

Att00060

 
 OPRAH:
 Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
 
 
 

Att00063

 
 GEORGE W. BUSH:
 We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
 
 
 

Att00066

 
 COLIN POWELL:
 Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…
 
 
 

Att00069

 
 ANDERSON COOPER – CNN:
 We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
 
 
 

Att00072

 
 JOHN KERRY:
 Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
 
 
 

Att00075

 
 NANCY GRACE:
 That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
 
 
 

Att00078

 
 PAT BUCHANAN :
 To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
 
 
 

Att00081

 
 MARTHA STEWART:
 No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
 
 
 

Att00084

 
 DR SEUSS:
 Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.
 
 
 

Att00087

 
 ERNEST HEMIN GWAY:
 To die in the rain. Alone.
 
 
 

Att00090

 
 JERRY FALWELL:
 Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth?’ That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as that.
 
 
 

Att00093

 
 GRANDPA:
 In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
 
 
 

Att00096

 
 BARBARA WALTERS:< /SPAN>
 Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

   
 

Att00099

   JOHN LENNON:
 Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

 

Att00102

 
ARISTOTLE
:
 It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

   
 

Att00105

   BILL GATES:
 I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is m uch more stable and will never cra…#@&&^(C% …….. reboot.

   
 

Att00108

   ALBERT EINSTEIN:
 Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

   
 

Att00111

   BILL CLINTON :
 I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

   
 

Att00114

   AL GORE :
 I invented the chicken!

   
 

Att00117

   COLONEL SANDERS:
 Did I miss one?

   
 

Att00120

   DICK CHENEY :
 Where’s my gun?

   
 

Att00123

   AL SHARPTON :
 Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

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